Take a deep breath. Then, stab the bitch in the throat with a lawn dart.

As a friendly and courteous person I tend to hold the door for people whenever possible. Sometimes I go way out of my way to do so. Whether you are a stranger or friend, I feel it is a simple way to make a friendly gesture.
Usually I am thanked with words or a smile. Even a simple glance of recognition would suffice. But there have been a few occasions where I have held open a door for a stranger to have them just walk through as if the door was held open by the power of their amazing mind. Not a thank you, not a smile, not even eye contact.
When this happens I usually figure I can say something smart ass and they wont even notice seeing how they are so involved in their own world that they cant acknowledge a kind gesture. Sometimes I pretend that I was thanked in an overly grateful manner and reply with an overly appreciated response. "Oh, no problemo Mam, you are very welcome!" and I smile really big as to imply my sarcasm. As if the bitchy tone wasn't enough.
If you know me well, you know that I love to hate people and enjoy it greatly when they give me a reason to despise them. Whenever my hate is justified, I milk it.
When I lived near Manhattan, this happened a lot. There are a lot of people to hate in such a densely populated area. I would regularly take a trip to this little organic grocery store in Greenwich Village that sells these awesome chai tea hard candies. Unfortunately, this area is also a breeding ground for rich, snobby, overly trendy, girls who look like Paris Hilton's closet barfed all over them.
They would stand in front of the magazine stand outside the market with their small ugly dogs, reading trash magazines while text messaging and listening to their IPods.
I often wished a horrible and painful death upon them and their beloved pets but sometimes I felt bad for assuming someone sucks as a person just from looking at them.
Lucky for me, my hate was justified when I got stuck holding the door for these bitches while they trotted past me without notice of my kindness. Lucky for them, the chai tea candies really calmed my nerves.